Tainted Page 8

  “I do.” And I meant it.

  His expression shifted, but I still couldn’t read it. “I should go.”

  He walked to the back door, and I followed. Still, he hesitated. I doubted he ever really knew what he wanted when he came to my house. He just didn’t have anywhere else to go.

  “Phoenix…” But I didn’t know what else to say.

  He was lost, but he sought me out as if I could help him. I felt responsible for him without knowing why. He was an adult, a father, a husband, a leader, someone with more responsibilities than most. He could take care of himself, but still, there was a part of him that he needed help with, and I felt compelled to be there.

  “I’ll come back when she trusts me more,” he said. “I’ll help Lorcan train her. If Seth comes for her, I’ll stand with you.”

  “You can’t get involved. You might have to deal with him as a government official.”

  “If he has been involved with the beast formula, then he is an enemy of this country.”

  “If he comes here, we can put an end to the formula. It would be over for good for the entire world, not just us. We would never have to worry about the same thing happening again.”

  “It would be the last major threat.”

  Unless the paragon decides to be awkward. “What if they try to order you to wipe out the werewolves?”

  He raised a brow. “You know the answer to that already.”

  “That might be dangerous.”

  “A man needs some excitement in his life.”

  I smiled, but I was too chicken to ask what he would do if the paragon told him to wipe out the tainted nephilim instead.

  Chapter Nine

  “You did what?” Adam spluttered. “Vampire queens and—what on earth is going on around here?”

  Jessica stood with her hands on her hips, her cheeks flushed. I covered my smile. She was totally taking advantage of her dad’s injuries. I walked over toward the sofa where Adam sat.

  “Real life,” I said. “Cut her some slack, Adam. She’s been through a lot.”

  “Cut her some slack? Been through a lot? Do you somehow believe I haven’t been around for any of it?”

  “I know you have, and I think maybe you’re too close to the situation right now. The vampire queen is part of the new Senate here, and if anyone can warn us about Seth, it’s her. She has a seer, and she has contacts. The last thing she wants is a stronger vampire taking over her territory.”

  “He’s not a stronger vampire. He’s a creator. He’s the first. He’s more than a vampire. He can—”

  “Dad,” Jess said in a frustrated tone. “Do you really think I haven’t learned anything? I know what I’m doing. I’m just trying to help us survive here.”

  “This is the wrong place,” he insisted. “We have to leave. We have to move on before he finds out where we are.”

  “We’re safe here,” Jess cried. “Won’t you listen? This is the safest we’ve ever been!”

  “According to her!” He jabbed a finger at me. “A tainted one.”

  A growl emanated from Jessica’s throat. “I’m a tainted one, Dad. Me. Stop acting like it’s a sin.”

  I was getting angry. Adam could be such a sanctimonious prick. If he would just listen to someone else for longer than ten seconds, he might learn a thing or two. He was so caught up in his bitterness and spite that he couldn’t see anything besides what he had already convinced himself of. In that sense, he reminded me of Peter when we first met, except there didn’t seem to be any getting through to Adam.

  “This is getting us nowhere,” I said. “You can leave if you want. Jess can stay with me. I don’t care what you do, Adam. She’s the one I’m interested in.”

  “Why?” he asked through clenched teeth. “Why are you so interested in my daughter? What can she do for you? What’s your motive?”

  “I don’t have a motive,” I snapped. “And if you keep pissing me off, you’ll be crawling out of this house. Jessica’s told us about her life, and I’m mad enough about that as it is. You treat your kid like shit, and that’s one thing I can’t abide. If you don’t start treating the people in this cul-de-sac—including your daughter—with respect, you can leave.”

  “She’s coming with me,” he said. “We’ll leave today. Trust me, I won’t be looking back.”

  “No!” Jessica roared, her eyes turning red. “No!” she screamed again, kicking over the coffee table.

  Startled, I took a step back. For the first time, I began to understand why Adam was so against his daughter losing control.

  “Calm down,” Adam said, but he didn’t sound calm himself, and that clearly sent his daughter into a worse rage.

  Jessica’s hands clenched into fists. “You can’t make me leave. You can’t keep doing this to me whenever I get used to a place. I won’t go!”

  He sat up straighter and glared at his daughter. “You don’t have a choice!”

  “She has a choice,” I said, eyeing Jessica warily. “Things are obviously… tense between you two right now. It might be better if you stayed in a different house. Jess can stay here until everything cools down. I don’t see how—”

  Jessica moved forward until she loomed over her father. “Get out,” she snarled.

  For an instant, I saw fear in his eyes. I closed the space between us, ready to stop her from hurting him if it came to that.

  “Jessica,” he said in a low voice, “pack your bags. When you calm down, we’ll leave.”

  “You can. I won’t.” Her voice had changed, transformed into something dark.

  I saw the taint in her then. The darkness appeared to shroud her skin and elevate her into something almost demonic. She raised her hand. In the second he flinched, I grabbed her arm. She flung me off her and sent me crashing into the wall. The force of her strength stunned me. She wasn’t Jessica anymore. There was no recognition in her eyes.

  “Jessica!” Adam shouted. “Stop it! Leave her alone!”

  Jessica pounced on me. She had completely lost control. She caught me in the jaw with her fist before I managed to roll her over and pin her. She was stronger than I was, but she was also careless and out of control. I could manage her. For now.

  “Jessica,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “It’s Ava. I am helping you, but you don’t get to hurt anyone here. Do you understand me? Your taint is no excuse. You’re better than this, and you can control it, so get a grip and snap out of it so we can move on already.”

  Panting, she snarled. She stared up at me, her chest heaving, but I held tight, holding her gaze. The scarlet haze slowly dissipated from her eyes. It was replaced with horror. When she finally stopped struggling, I let her go. Scrambling to her feet, she choked out a sob then raced up the stairs and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

  Blowing out a breath, I turned to check on Adam. He had changed, too. He looked like a worried parent all of a sudden. There was no distaste in his eyes, only concern. I felt a little relief; I had been genuinely worried that he didn’t love her at all.

  “I’m sorry.” He sounded defeated. “She doesn’t mean it. She’s too young to…” He shook his head. “She doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”

  “I know that.” I took a seat beside him on the sofa. “That was intense. Does it happen often?”

  He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “It used to be rare, maybe once or twice a year. When she was younger, I could deal with it, but she’s grown stronger during her… episodes. It’s happening more often, and she insists on pushing the limits, on working herself up until… that happens.”

  “And that’s why you’ve trained her to kill in cold blood?” I tried to keep my tone even, but my judgement came through clearly.

  He gazed at me, exhaustion in his eyes. “You know what people think of tainted nephilim. Imagine if the wrong person saw her act that way. What if she keeps getting stronger and stronger until nobody can stop her? What if she can’t come back one day after she lo
ses control? They won’t think twice about killing her. I’m terrified for her. If she can protect herself without losing control, then she stands a chance.”

  I shook my head. “She’s a teenage girl. She shouldn’t be encouraged to have blood on her hands by her own father.”

  “She’s tainted.” His voice broke on the word. “Avoiding that side of her nature is the only way I can keep her alive.”

  I shifted uncomfortably, seeing the parallels in the way I had been brought up. “Hiding from who she is won’t help her in the long run. That’s a temporary solution. She needs to learn how to control that side of herself. Trust me. I don’t have her problem, but I have other issues. I know better than anyone what avoidance does.”

  “It’s too risky.” He gave me a pleading look. “We’ll leave. We’ll keep moving. There’s no need for you to tell anyone else about this. I can handle her. If the time comes when… well, I’ll be the one to deal with her.”

  “I’m not going to give anyone the excuse to use her or harm her. Look, I think both of you are going through a phase where you bring out the worst in each other. I don’t know if it’s proximity or hormones or what, but you’re both supremely unreasonable when you’re together. But I still think I can help you. I want you both to stay in the cul-de-sac, but I really think it’s best for everyone if you stay in a different house until everything calms down some.”

  He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do with her. For the past three years, things have gotten worse and worse. I keep thinking if we move on frequently that there won’t be a chance of her getting attached enough to lose herself. But it was impossible when the vampires came. She made friends, and it actually seemed as though her anger issues improved, but she still fought me on every other level. It’s an ongoing argument that I try to disengage from, but it just continues whenever the opportunity arises, and I can’t deal with it.” He raised his head and turned to me, his anxiety plain on his face. “Did she hurt you?”

  “No. She’s strong, but I’ve been through a lot worse. I’m not a mother, Adam. I’ve had very little experience with teenagers, but I know what it’s like to be a young tainted nephal and have the people I’m supposed to trust look at me as if I’m some kind of monster. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect her to act like a hormonal teenager, she will. And restricting her life obviously hasn’t worked. She needs to be around people her own age, and both of you need to get out of each other’s pockets and spread your wings.”

  His shoulders sagged. It was strange getting through to the real Adam, the parent rather than the seraph. “Coming back to Ireland has made everything worse again.”

  “Coming back?”

  “She was born here.”

  That struck me as strange. As far as I knew, seraphim were rare, but two had reproduced in Ireland within a decade. I saved up those questions for later. “Does she remember the place?”

  “No, no. But it’s obviously going to raise some questions about her past. And her mother.” He winced. “But she’s been obsessed with what happened to Parker. She wouldn’t be this jumpy otherwise, I think.”

  “Parker’s the boy you met up with along the way, right? The one who creates fire.”

  “Yes, we joined up with him and his sick grandfather. Sunny’s death was bad enough on Jess, but I promised Sunny I would take care of his grandson, and then we lost him. I feel responsible for that, but Jessica’s head is full of dreams. She sets up these fantasy worlds in her mind, where she thinks everyone is a potential family member. We both grew attached to Parker, but the fact that he saved her life has her caught up in some kind of obsession with him. He’s a good kid, but Jess has no experience with boys. And her judgement has proved… less than stellar.”

  He made a face, and I figured he was talking about the same person Jess had mentioned, the one who had sold her to the vampires. I really hoped that arsehole wasn’t walking around on his own two feet anymore.

  I thought of the children’s home. “We could look for Parker. It might help her deal to know he’s okay.”

  He shook his head. “She would only get hurt.”

  “Sometimes it’s worth the risk.”

  His face paled. “Trust me. I know it’s not worth it.”

  “You loved your wife, didn’t you?”

  He gazed at his hands and rubbed them together. “It wasn’t a requirement, coming here and having feelings. I wasn’t expecting the humanity of this body, how easy it was to care. When it was all taken away from me, it ripped me apart. I killed her. I’m the one who caused her life to end. Yes, she would have died anyway, but I caused her heart to stop beating.”

  “You did it to save Jess,” I said. “Your wife probably…” I couldn’t give advice. I had no idea what exactly had happened. But I was dying to find out.

  “She begged me to save the baby,” he said. “She had no idea what was going on, but she understood she was dying. She knew the baby was at risk if she died; she just didn’t realise the baby was at a different kind of risk if she lived.”

  “How did you get away from Seth?”

  He rubbed his cheeks. “I prayed. I offered everything I had to save her, so that my wife’s death wasn’t for nothing. I saved my daughter just so she could do the dirty work of beings who don’t care and haven’t helped. No matter what I’ve done, bad luck has followed us.”

  “Have you told Jess any of this stuff?”

  He made a strangled sound in his throat. “I wish I didn’t know. Why would I burden her?”

  “Do you not think…?” I shifted in my seat, feeling uncomfortable. “I mean, wouldn’t it help her to know what happened? That her parents actually cared about her? That it wasn’t all about the end game. At least not for you.”

  He looked at me, his face twisted with disgust. “Are you talking about Jess or yourself?”

  I shrugged. “Both, I suppose. Gabe had so much more he could have told me. He was biding his time; I just know it. And my grandmother doesn’t remember me anymore. Everything I could have known was wiped from the world. I mean, why do these things happen? Why us?”

  “You think the answers would help you?”

  “Why not? You’ve been under pressure to keep Jess moving. My grandmother was under pressure to make sure I was treated like crap. Why the specifics? Why were Jess and I treated differently? And why is everyone so obedient?”

  But the spell had broken. Adam’s gaze turned cold. “Perhaps you’re right about a short separation. I will not stay in the same home as a hellhound, however.”

  “Half-hellhound,” I corrected. “And somebody fiercely loyal, so you had better hope she takes Jess under her wing. But yeah, I think you’d be better off with a human, someone who doesn’t easily take offence. And you need somewhere quiet, so you can recuperate. You can eat your meals here, if you feel up to it. Jess still needs you, but I’d prefer to dial down the intensity for now.”

  “Where?”

  “I think Carl would be best for you. You’ll be able to see this house from his window. You can come over any time. I’m not taking her away from you; I’m just putting distance between you both to avoid that happening again.”

  “I understand,” he said, biting out the words in a clipped tone.

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll organise it. You should talk to Jess and explain things to her.”

  “I’ll let her know where I’m going.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  He rose to his feet. “I know.”

  He headed upstairs, leaving me with more questions than he had answered. I called Carl and made arrangements. He wasn’t too chuffed with the new deal, but he didn’t say no. He came over a little later, and we helped move Adam into his new lodgings.

  Jessica didn’t speak or help. I hoped I was doing the right thing.

  Chapter Ten

  Jessica had been subdued since the incident, and I thought hard about finding a way to make her r
ealise that I didn’t blame her. She barely looked me in the eye anymore, but with her dad out of the way, I could be more creative in my dealings with her.

  Two days after her dad left to stay with Carl, she was sitting at my kitchen table, pushing uneaten cereal around in a bowl.

  “I was thinking we could go somewhere together today,” I said brightly.

  She grunted.

  “Kind of like a field trip. More like a mission really,” I babbled.

  She gave me a quizzical look.

  “It might be fun for you to meet some people your own age.”

  She froze. “I don’t think—”

  “Other teenagers who haven’t had a normal life,” I clarified. “There’s Leah, next door, for starters. She was on the run, too.”

  Jess frowned. “Really?”

  “And then there’s the children’s home. Remember I told you I went to Hell? Well, a lot of the children we brought back with us still live in the home. We haven’t found their families, if they’re even still alive, and the kids spent so long in Hell that it isn’t really safe to throw them out into the world again. So they stay in this place that’s… okay, it’s kind of horrible, but there’s a lot of land, and they get fed and have, you know, sunlight and stuff.”

  “Are you sending me to live there or something?”

  She looked so horrified that I laughed. I regretted it when her cheeks flushed with colour.

  “Of course not,” I said hurriedly. “I just thought maybe it would be interesting for you to meet these kids. If you stick around, you’ll end up spending time with them in the new school.”

  “Dad won’t let us stay here that long. He’ll figure out a way to get me out of here.”

  “Let me deal with your dad. Do you want to go? I just thought maybe…”

  “I’ll go.” She brought a spoonful of cereal to her mouth. “When?”

  I smiled with relief. If Parker turned out to be staying in the home and I took him out of there, she would trust me about a million times more than she did. And if he wasn’t, she wouldn’t be disappointed because she hadn’t expected it in the first place. Ava Delaney, Mistress of Manipulative Strategy.