Fade (Chaos) Read online

  I heard cries of happiness and raised my head. Líle and Anya were getting undressed. They leapt into the pool, sending waves rushing over me. Laughing, I splashed them back.

  We should have gotten out to set up camp, but the others didn’t ask for our help, and I didn’t feel like bothering. I pushed Líle under the water. She grabbed me and pulled me down with her. I swam back to the top, kicking her away. I gasped as I came up for air, choking with the laughter I had been holding underwater. Anya floated away from us, soaking up the sun, until both Líle and I grabbed her ankles and yanked her under.

  Anya came up, spluttering some swear words, and leapt on Líle’s back. Líle headed straight for the waterfall, knocking Anya off. Anya recovered, and she and I moved under the falls. The water was warm, a powerful natural shower. My skin stung, but in a good way.

  I saw Bekind watching and waved her over, but she ignored me and closed her eyes again. It was getting harder for me to hate her, but I doubted I would ever fully trust her.

  Anya showed us how to use a stone to clean our skin, then we washed our hair as best we could. I no longer felt gritty and gross. Anya tried to comb out my tangled hair.

  “This is the most relaxed I’ve ever felt,” Líle murmured.

  Grim had made a fire, and I heard the sounds of cooking. My stomach rumbled as if on cue.

  “I’m too hungry for this,” I said.

  “We’ll dry off on the rocks until the food is ready,” Anya said. “I’ll finish your hair before Realtín gets her hands on it again. You have to stop using it as a way to distract her.”

  We lounged on the rocks in our underwear, annoying Bekind with our chatter while she tried to sleep. She gave up and left us there, her tail straight up in the air. We were all so different: Anya with her bronze skin and blue pixie hair, Líle with her warrior body that burned like embers, and me. Once, my veins had shimmered green, but in the fae realm, I looked more human than ever.

  Anya did a good job of untying the knots from my hair. “If only I had some of our oils or—”

  “Enough,” Líle said with a moan. “No more talk of hair. Let us relax.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I said, lulled into contentment by Anya working on my hair. My eyes were closed. I had almost forgotten all of the things that were worrying me.

  “It’s nice to be together.” That was a strangely un-Líle-like thing to say.

  Bekind returned a while later with our clothes. “Food is almost ready,” she said a little shyly.

  I beamed at her. “Thanks.”

  She frowned as she walked away. Anya, Líle, and I dressed and joined the others for food.

  “You look happy,” Realtín remarked.

  “I feel much better,” I said. “Dubh back yet?”

  “He’ll be back when it’s time to leave,” Grim remarked. “Not a minute sooner.”

  “Are we safe here tonight, do you think?”

  “I think we can rest here for a while,” Arlen said.

  “Do you?” Drake said in a quiet voice.

  Arlen eyed him for a few seconds. “I do. We have to keep up the pace on our journey, though. My king is waiting.”

  The others fell silent as some kind of power struggle went on between the pair. I shrugged. Maybe it wasn’t so important anymore.

  “I could stay here forever,” I said brightly, tucking in to my food. I smiled at Sorcha, who looked a little horrified.

  After we finished eating, I grinned at Líle and Anya. “Ready to swim?”

  “Again?” Grim said. “Don’t you think—”

  “Nope!”

  The three of us ran off together, squealing and laughing as we struggled to get out of our clothes. I dived under the water first. I could stay under for longer because I wasn’t worried about drowning. In fact, I wasn’t worrying about anything. I swam for a while then floated. I looked toward the camp. I watched Sorcha cling to Drake and saw him smile back at her. That was nice. I rolled over in the water. It was so warm. I really could live in the water.

  “Cara!” Grim called. “Come, it’s time to take a leaf. You’ll start aching if you don’t.”

  “Nah! I’m good here.”

  “Aren’t you in pain?” Realtín asked.

  “Who cares?”

  Líle and Anya giggled.

  “We need to move on soon,” Arlen said. “Rest up now.”

  “We can stay here,” Líle said. “For always because it’s so beautiful.”

  “What are you talking about?” Arlen snapped. “Get a grip. It’s dangerous here.”

  “Oh, blah,” I said. “I can forget all about it in here.”

  Then Bekind started screaming. “Get out! Get out of the water right now!”

  I laughed and swam away. I couldn’t care less. I vaguely noted the need to breathe, but I didn’t care. I rolled over in the water, opened my mouth, and closed my eyes.

  Two hands grabbed me roughly and pulled me to the surface. Long golden hair drifted in the water. Air filled my lungs, and my body jerked painfully.

  Then, everything went black.

  ***

  I awoke, warm and cosy and wrapped up tight. I struggled, but I couldn’t seem to move my limbs. “What on earth?”

  “We can’t let you go until we’re sure it’s worn off,” Drake said. He was sitting next to me, and there was a fire, but I couldn’t see anything else.

  “Until what’s worn off? What are you doing?”

  “The water,” he said. “They were the oblivion waters. I never knew they were real. Bekind realised too late. We dragged Líle and Anya out, kicking and screaming, but you had already reached the bottom. Bekind went under after you, even though she was terrified. She saved your life.”

  “From what?”

  “Oblivion. The water makes you forget your troubles, but you also forget about danger and basic needs. That’s when the water takes you.”

  “Oh.” That made a scary kind of sense. “Is Bekind okay?”

  He nodded. “She got a fright, but she’s physically fine. She wasn’t in the water long enough for it to inflict her.”

  “There’s really nothing safe here,” I whispered. “There’s no safe place, nowhere we can just be.”

  “You should sleep. You need your rest.”

  I tried to move, but every inch of me ached. “Let me go. I need to take a leaf.”

  “Where did you get the leaves?”

  “The Miacha.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Really?”

  “Drake, I’m in serious pain. I need to take a leaf right now. If I was still inflicted by the bloody oblivion waters, I wouldn’t care about the pain, would I?”

  “You’re right,” he said hesitantly.

  “Are you keeping watch?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you’ll be here if I try to jump back in.”

  He nodded and pulled free the ties around the blanket that shrouded me, lifting me a little to pull it out from under me. With his arms around me, he held me still for a second, his face a hairsbreadth from mine. “I don’t do well with death. Ever since… what Deorad did to my mother, I panic around death. I can’t handle it when it’s someone I care about.”

  I held my breath, afraid to move in case it broke the spell. His violet eyes were open, and I couldn’t look away.

  “I do care,” he said firmly, then he pressed his lips against mine.

  The kiss was soft and gentle, but it said more than words ever could. The tenderness brought tears to my eyes. He left me just as abruptly, fetching the bundle and bringing it back to me.

  “Take the leaf,” he said in a tight voice. “I’ll watch over you while you sleep.”

  I slept well that night, better than ever. But I was more confused than ever, too.

  Chapter Eight

  The following morning, I was walking on air. The knot of tension in my shoulders had disappeared. I was breathing easy for the first time in a long time.

  Líle, acting a li
ttle sheepish, approached me before breakfast. We walked away from camp until we were out of hearing distance of the others.

  She rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m so sorry about yesterday. I should have known. I should never have—”

  “Relax,” I said. “It wasn’t your fault. None of us knew about the water. Besides, I’m not your job anymore. You’re a free fae, remember?”

  “But I… I still have to… It’s important that I… oh.” She shuffled her feet. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. But I still… want to keep you safe. I want us all to survive this journey. I just imagined fighting off attackers rather than avoiding oblivion waters.”

  “So keep teaching me how to fight, how to protect myself. That’s the best you can do. And relax. I’m fine, you’re fine, we’re all fine. Stop worrying so much.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Are you still suffering the effects of the oblivion waters?”

  I grinned. “Nope. I’m just happy.”

  She glared at me. “You seem as though you’ve forgotten all your troubles again.”

  “I remember the trouble—trust me. But we’re alive. We’ve made it this far. I can’t complain about that.”

  She stared at me for so long that I laughed.

  I linked arms with her and lowered my voice. “Drake talked to me last night. That’s all. So don’t worry about me, okay?”

  “That’s exactly why I have to worry about you. Human talks and faery talks are very different things. Don’t forget that, Cara.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  “And what about Brendan?”

  I shrugged. “It was just a talk, Líle.”

  She didn’t look convinced, but at that moment, Grim called for us to come and have some breakfast. As Líle and I returned to camp, a troubling thought occurred to me. Fae like Drake were my very own oblivion waters. When things were good, I forgot the problems.

  The cat was nibbling some fish when I sat down to eat. I picked her up, ignoring her yowls, and snuggled her.

  “Thanks for saving my life, Bekind.”

  She squirmed out of my arms and transformed long enough to say, “I told you that you were going to drown some day.”

  “But I didn’t!” I said as she ran off. “Still alive, remember?”

  Grim sat next to me. “You shouldn’t torment her so much.”

  “She deserves a little punishment.” I pulled apart the piece of hot fish, scalding my fingers. Oddly, I was enjoying the camping aspect of our journey. It was exciting to live a different kind of life for a while.

  “We still need Bekind,” Grim reminded me. “More than the others even.”

  I sucked my burnt finger and glanced over at Drake, trying to figure out if he had been honest the night before or if he had just said the things he knew I wanted to hear. Arlen had taken over for him during the night, and the freshly made king was still fast asleep, sprawled across the blanket.

  “Don’t wake him,” Arlen said, sitting on the other side of me. He took some of the fish. “He’ll be awake soon enough.”

  “We’re leaving then?” I asked.

  “The sooner we reach the Fade, the better.” He glanced at me. “Right?”

  “Of course. At least we’ll have Brendan with us on the way back, right?”

  “He won’t be as you knew him.” Arlen looked at me curiously. “What will that change?”

  “I know as much as you do. Probably less, actually. What will you do when all of this is over?”

  “Hopefully, stand with Brendan, no matter what he decides to do.”

  “You’re incredibly loyal,” I said, looking at him. “But you didn’t know him from before.”

  “Let’s just say I was raised into this,” he said. “I believe in him. There is nobody else capable enough for me. But after getting to know him… if he decided to walk away from the responsibility, I would follow him still.”

  I finished the fish and wiped my hands on my trousers. “He won’t give up the crown.”

  “You sound very certain.”

  “I am. He told me he had something to prove—honouring his parents because he shamed them.”

  He stopped eating. “He told you that?”

  I nodded. Sorcha joined us, and we fell silent. Arlen rarely appeared to take sides, but I had a feeling he didn’t approve of the banshee.

  “Any more dramatic risks of your life planned today?” she asked merrily.

  “Having you around seems like a pretty big risk to take, considering the last time I saw you, you tried to sacrifice me to your creepy death god.”

  “Dymphna tried to kill you, too,” she said. “I wouldn’t be the only suspect if you happened to drop dead.”

  “She had a good reason for what she did.”

  “And I don’t? Just because you don’t know—”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re just a big psychopath.”

  “Jealous, too,” Realtín piped up, flying over to me.

  “That’s enough,” Drake called. “All of you.” His hair was mussed and his eyes murky as he joined us at the fire.

  “Yes, my king,” Sorcha said mockingly.

  “Not my king,” I couldn’t resist muttering.

  “But Brendan is?” he snapped. Issues.

  I looked him directly in the eye. “I’m human, as everyone keeps reminding me. There are no kings in Ireland, thankfully. Nobody owns me, and I’ve no one to swear fealty to.”

  He shook his head and took the fish that Grim offered him. “Everyone prepare themselves. We leave within the hour. The sooner this godforsaken trip is over with, the better.”

  “So we’re all agreed then,” I snapped. I stood abruptly and left the fireside to find my bundle. My good mood had been quick to fade.

  Anya followed me to brush out my hair. “He’s already stressed,” she whispered. “You would do better to placate him.”

  “Why? He’s just going to send me away.”

  “What is it you want then? You wanted to leave us, remember? You said you would take me with you, and then you left without me!”

  “That wasn’t… I couldn’t ask you to come with me.” I gestured around us. “Not to this. You asked me to take you away from everything. You meant to the human realm, not straight into danger.”

  “I meant with you,” she said, her voice shaking. “You said we were friends. You said—”

  I turned around and gripped her shoulders. “We are friends, Anya. But you don’t need me to be the person you want to be. If you want to be different from the other pixies, then congratulations, you’ve done it already. And when this is over, if you want to come with me? I’ll be happy, but I’ll be equally happy if you change your mind. Friends want whatever makes their friends happy, right?” I thought of Zoe and Darren. “Even if we don’t agree with it. I’m still learning that.”

  She turned me around and pulled on my hair. “Just don’t leave without me next time.”

  Everyone was subdued as we prepared to leave. We separated into three groups again: Me, Grim, and Realtín; then Líle, Arlen, and Anya; and finally Drake, Sorcha, and Dymphna. I had a feeling the daoine sídhe was avoiding me as much as possible. I wasn’t sure why, but I put it down to her being uncomfortable travelling with the person she had been shamed into trying to kill. And although Líle and Anya were happy to see me, both of them felt left behind. After all, I had taken Grim, Realtín, and even Bekind along with me, but I had left them.

  “I have a weird feeling,” I whispered to Grim as Dubh put some space between us and the others.

  Realtín was undoing all of Anya’s good work on my hair.

  “You’re not the only one,” Grim said. “You need to be ready to leave if anything should happen. We can’t trust anyone’s motives. Arlen is loyal to Brendan, but everyone else is ambiguous. You must begin to understand politics, Cara. Even in this small group, it will be the smart players who make it until the end.”

  “I was kind of hoping everyone would make it
to the end.”

  “What better place to get rid of your enemies than the Darkside? And I don’t want to speak ill of Drake, but you have to prepare for the fact he might have come along to stop Brendan from returning.”

  My blood ran cold. The thought had occurred to me, but hearing somebody else acknowledging the possibility made it all the more real. “When the hell did my life become of a Game of Thrones episode? Seriously, I feel more in danger surrounded by allies than I ever did alone. What do you think, Realtín?”

  She yanked my hair a little tighter. “It’s the fae way.”

  I looked back at Drake and caught him watching us, his eyes suspicious. I held his gaze for a moment and remembered that he would do whatever it took to fulfil his goals. I had to be just as determined to get Brendan back to his rightful place.

  I turned back around, keeping my voice low. “What do you think will happen in the Fade? Will I even make it there?”

  “Arlen won’t stop.” Grim glanced at our other companions. “I think Líle and Anya will follow you. But you must be willing to flee if it all goes wrong.”

  “But where would we go?”

  “I’m just making sure you understand,” Grim said. “You’ll do whatever you have to do to escape. Always remember that, Cara.”

  “You’ll scare her,” Realtín chided.

  “Can I trust you two?” I asked. “No matter what?”

  “You know you can,” Realtín said crossly.

  Dubh whinnied impatiently.

  “You, too.” I laughed as I petted the horse. “What do you two think of Bekind?”

  “She has some connection to you,” Grim said. “She feels compelled to keep you alive. If you had seen her face when you went under the water…”

  “I’ll say that for her,” Realtín said. “She was desolate when she pulled you out of the falls. She thought you were dead. That’s why I’ve been nicer to her.”

  “I saw you spit in her fish this morning!”