Usurper Read online

  “We’re agreed on all accounts.” Fiadh rose to her feet. “I look forward to seeing your child someday, my lady. She brings me hope that the Darkside is not the death sentence we assumed it to be.”

  I reached out and took her hand. “Thank you for doing this.”

  She nodded and squeezed my fingers. “It’s the least we can do after everything you did for us.”

  I smiled. “Thanks for sending the plants and herbs back to court. Who knows? Maybe they’ve helped already.”

  “That was all the Miacha. One stayed with us for a while. She comes back every couple of weeks to check on Setanta and to bring new medicines. She is determined to cure him. We were lucky to have met you.”

  I tried to keep a smile on my face as she left. Luck, good or bad, had changed my entire life.

  ***

  I fidgeted while Brendan prepared for the war council. He had been worried all day, but he was slowly rebuilding his mask, the one he showed to everyone else.

  “Should I really go with you to this?” I asked.

  He stoked the fire. Despite the time of year in the human realm, the weather in the faery world was absolutely miserable. “I think it’s time you reappeared. We need to make a decision, one way or another. I’m sorry it’s gone this far, that everything seems to propel us further into madness, but I can’t ignore Sadler’s actions any longer.” He turned to look at me. “Neither can you.”

  “Is there anything we can do to stop this war?”

  He went back to work on the fire. “End Sadler’s life. But it looks as though he’s not so easy to kill. Some want to send an envoy to pledge for peace, only to include an assassin.”

  “How will you feel about that?”

  He sat on a chair and leaned forward, his gaze on the flickering flames in the hearth. “I’m not entirely sure.”

  “The Darkside would need a leader.”

  His eyes gleamed. “If we divided up the land, I would regain some of what I inherited as a younger man. I can’t say I’m opposed, but trickery and murder are what keep the old ways alive. Sadler’s reign must end, and not a one of us can figure out a way to avoid bloodshed in order to do it.” He nodded at me. “Except you.”

  My cheeks burned. I wanted Sadler to die. I was convinced that I needed that closure or I would end up as twisted as Ronnie. “He’s not giving us a lot of choice. But the Darksiders had started to turn on him when I was at court. Maybe they’ll make the decision for themselves.”

  “Even if they do, we have other problems.”

  “Like what?”

  He gave me a wry smile and rose to his feet again. “You’ll likely gather that for yourself at the war council.”

  “Who all will be there?”

  “Grim, Realtín, Arlen, Drake, Sorcha, and Dymphna, at first. Others will join us later. Important people who can help us.”

  “But ones you don’t trust.”

  With a smirk, he bowed low. “You have the way of it, Queen Cara.”

  “Oh, shut the fuck up.”

  He laughed. “And she’s back.”

  “Do any of them know I’m here?”

  “I doubt Drake and his people know yet. I’ve been avoiding Grim and the sprite to keep the secret a little longer.”

  “Evil.”

  “I hope not.” He sighed as he struggled to button the sleeves of his shirt.

  I moved to help him. He stood still and allowed it. His hands were large and calloused, his fingers too clumsy and impatient for something as tiny as a button.

  When I finished, I realised he had been staring at me. “What?”

  “You’ve changed. Something about you is very different.”

  “Everything about me is different.” My heartbeat quickened as I looked into his startlingly green eyes. “I’ll never be the same again.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I believe you.” I started to move away.

  He held my wrist. “But you don’t forgive me?”

  I pressed my lips together. Having a conversation about what had happened to me would just release the anger I had kept shut away for so long. And Brendan wasn’t the one I wanted to unleash my venom on. I couldn’t make an enemy of him. He was the strongest card in my deck. A clock chimed in the corner, saving me from having to respond.

  “It’s time,” he said, sounding weary. “Come. We’ll be there first. Be sure to watch the reactions.” He led me down a set of back stairs that were conspicuously empty. “Are you nervous?”

  “Yes.”

  “What do you have to be nervous of? You’re a queen, remember?”

  “In name only,” I whispered. I froze to the spot as my lungs constricted. “This will be the first time I’ve seen him since…”

  Brendan lowered his voice. “You will hold your head up high. You will not let your pain show.”

  “Is that what the fae do?”

  “That’s what royals do.” He kissed the top of my head. “And it’s how you get through the first time you see somebody you still love after a long time apart.”

  I didn’t correct him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about anyone anymore. I loved Scarlet, and nobody else existed who came close to that love, so maybe what I felt for Drake didn’t mean a thing. Time had twisted my feelings, and I wasn’t entirely sure what those feelings had become.

  We made it into Brendan’s new office unseen. A long table surrounded by chairs stood in the centre of the room.

  “Sit next to me,” he said, taking a seat at the head of the table. “And watch the door.”

  “What am I?” I asked, pulling out a chair. “How do the fae see me now?”

  “As the mother of a faery,” he said. “As the queen of the Darksiders. As someone they need to watch. You have gone from the entertaining human to… the woman who entered the Fade to bring me home, the woman who helped two kings gain their kingdoms, the woman who survived Sadler’s torture and changed the Dark Court.”

  “Somebody’s been exaggerating,” I said with a short laugh. “So Scarlet is a faery, even though I’m not?”

  “Fae is fae. The daughter of a faery king and heir to the thrones of others must be a faery. I do admit that I’m curious about what she inherited. I shared Drake’s body when she was conceived; therefore, he held my power in his hands. And now we both have so much more. She survived so much, so soon.”

  “When she was born, the Miacha said that she had been protected, that magic surrounded her.” I blinked away tears. “She would have died otherwise. I heard Sorcha say she sensed death back in Sadler’s castle. When you all were there. When Sadler…” I shook my head. “Who’s protecting her?”

  “Perhaps you did,” he said, but he looked uncomfortable.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m just… remembering that day in Sadler’s court. For a moment, I thought you would both die. A soldier carried you out and promised to protect you.”

  “Rumble,” I said. “It was Rumble. He was one of Deorad’s children. His face is ruined. He told me that was what Sadler did to loyalty, so imagine what would happen if I betrayed him.”

  “You blinded Sadler and lived,” he said with a smile. “You were clawed by the fenris and lived, too, remember? And you escaped from the Chaos Court after killing Deorad, one of the most feared creatures in this realm.”

  My cheeks burned. “I didn’t do it for… I kind of did it out of pity, Brendan. I put him out of his misery. I wanted Drake to get over his vendetta, but Deorad was tortured every night, kept alive, barely, by some kind of black magic. And I know he deserved it after everything he did. I know I should have hated him, but it wasn’t like that when it came down to it.”

  “And once again, you manage to surprise me. I’m not the only one who is fascinated by your unpredictability, Cara. I told you that you have a knack for survival. The rumours about you have flown around this realm like wildfire. Even while you were hiding in the human realm, stories were being whispered.” He gazed at me.
“I still wonder how many are true.”

  Footsteps sounded outside the door. Under the table, Brendan slipped his hand around mine and squeezed. “Don’t stand when they enter,” he said. “You’re on equal footing now. Don’t let anyone in any court treat you as anything less than a queen. Never give them any ground. Trust me on this.”

  Drake and Sorcha stepped into the room. Everything about him, from his silver-threaded veins to his aquiline nose and thin-lipped mouth, made him appear cold and indifferent. The banshee’s disdainful air was a perfect match.

  Sorcha’s breath hitched when she spotted me. She plastered over her confusion with a brief smile.

  Drake took one look at me, dropped his wife’s arm, and glared at Brendan. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Brendan gave him a lazy smile and casually draped an arm around my chair. “Whatever it takes.”

  Dymphna came in next with Arlen, who had obviously not cheered up since I’d last seen him. A golden bright spark hovered over their heads. Realtín flew straight into my arms, making weird little noises. I held her close, my eyes welling with unshed tears at the genuine declaration of love from a sprite who preferred mischief over anything else. Still holding her, I rose to my feet when I caught sight of Grim.

  “Cara,” he whispered.

  I walked over and knelt to hug him, and something in my heart sang out that I was home. I felt about a hundred times safer with Grim around to warn me of danger. He and Realtín had been one of my first links to the fae world. They were unwaveringly loyal to me without expecting anything in return.

  “Close the door,” Brendan said. “We don’t have much time before the others arrive.”

  Arlen moved to shut the door then sat on Brendan’s other side. By the time everyone had taken their seats, Realtín’s violent shudders had abated, and she only occasionally trembled.

  I sneaked glances around the room. Drake was barely containing his anger. His expression was haughty, as if he had never smiled in his life. We had conceived a child together, yet he couldn’t even look in my direction. The tension in the air increased, and I shifted in my seat. I worried Brendan’s plan had been a mistake.

  “So you’re back.” Sorcha gazed at my stomach for a moment. “And the child?”

  “Safe,” Brendan said.

  “Maybe Eithne could be another playmate,” I said to Brendan before turning to Dymphna. “Is she here?”

  The daoine sídhe nodded, but she looked confused. “My daughter is with us.”

  “Good idea,” Brendan said. “I asked Cara to bring Scarlet to us. I thought to use her as a bargaining tool. I doubted the Darksiders would attack us with their heir in the castle. But Cara had a different plan. She sent her daughter into hiding and came without her. She wants to talk to the Darksiders, to persuade them to back down from this fight.”

  “You’re a fool,” Drake said. “They won’t listen to her. She’s barely a consort. She has no power over Sadler.”

  “She has the child,” Brendan said coolly. “And there are Darksiders in this very castle.”

  Drake harrumphed. “Which I don’t agree with.”

  Ignoring the interruption, Brendan continued, “After seeing their reaction to someone they call their queen, I believe Cara can make a difference herself, make the Dark Court think twice about attacking.”

  “Who cares?” Drake’s mouth twisted into a sneer. “We can run through them. We both agreed that Sadler doesn’t have the means to stop us.”

  I cleared my throat. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”

  “What do you know?” Arlen asked gruffly. He was definitely still angry with me about Anya.

  “I spent a lot of time there. I listened, I learned, and I know more about the Darkside than any of you.”

  Sorcha leaned forward, her dark eyes sparkling. “You spied?”

  “I picked up a couple of things along the way. It’s different there. The people are starving because nothing grows, and soldiers are being created from twisted creatures choking with the taint from the rift. They aren’t prepared for a war, but they aren’t alone.”

  Dymphna’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean there are spies here?”

  “I don’t know anything about that, but the doctor in the Dark Court isn’t from here. He hurt me when… He was using a piece of the mirror.” I caught Drake’s gaze and desperately held on, willing him to just see me. And that weakness made me angry at myself. “The mirror I saw on our journey back from the Fade.”

  Drake cocked his head. “It was real?”

  “Yeah, but it’s… odd. It moves of its own will. And it shows people different things. Bekind couldn’t see her own reflection. Sadler only ever saw me in there, and I saw a lot of death. Sadler saw me married to him, so he made it happen. What if he sees other things?”

  “Like what?” Arlen asked.

  “Like where to go for help. The thing is, I think the doctor holds influence over Sadler, right down to the god he prays to, and he’s probably helping Sadler get reinforcements.”

  “From where?” Drake demanded.

  “Across the sea,” I whispered, laying my palms on the table. “And the Darksiders believe that’s where the doctor must come from. And if the doctor comes from across the sea… we don’t want more of his kind here.”

  “How could you know this?” Dymphna asked.

  I shrugged. “I had a visitor.”

  “In the human realm?” Brendan asked, sitting up straight. “When? How?”

  “She was watching us for a while. The Darksiders don’t want this war any more than I do. She warned me in the hopes I could do something… before it’s too late.”

  “It’s already too late,” Drake said. “We’re going to destroy every single one of those Darksiders. They’ll all get what they deserve.”

  “The sick children deserve to die? The Darksiders didn’t choose this life,” I said, pissed off at his callousness. “You could have been one of them, in case you’ve forgotten. Most of the people in that castle are related to you.”

  “Do not speak of my family,” he said through clenched teeth. “They deserve to die, and they will. One way or another.”

  “All of your family?” I blurted.

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he stared back at me. I felt Sorcha’s gaze shift, and a shiver ran down my back.

  “Let’s get back on track,” Brendan said. “If there truly is a fleet coming this way, and we don’t know for certain that there is, we don’t want to be distracted by a war with the Darksiders.”

  “They camp all over neutral territory,” Drake said. “We have to wipe them out in case reinforcements do appear. Aside from that, their presence makes us all look weak. This is not the time to show weakness, Brendan. You, of all people, know this.”

  “Then we deal with one camp at a time,” Brendan said. “But peacefully first.”

  “Prepare your troops,” Drake said, “because the Silver Court is going to war.”

  I sat back and closed my eyes. Nothing was the same anymore.

  Chapter Five

  A servant poked his head around the door and announced that the rest of the party had arrived. Drake sat back in his chair, breathing harshly.

  “Send them to the hall,” Brendan commanded. When the servant left, he shrugged. “We’ll talk to the others over dinner. A few glasses of good wine seem to make them more… flexible.”

  We all stood.

  “Cara, wait,” Drake said. “I need to speak to you.” When everyone else stared at him, he arched an eyebrow. “We’ll only be a moment.”

  Brendan nodded at me before escorting the others out of the room. Sorcha glanced over her shoulder at her husband, looking uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable, too. I sat back down, just to stop myself from fidgeting like a child.

  Drake took a couple of steps toward me then took Brendan’s seat. He studied me. “You are well.”

  “Just get to the point,” I said, suddenly finding it harder to breathe. �
��We both know you don’t give a shit.”

  He bowed his head. When he looked up, he held my gaze with eyes that reminded me of our daughter, and my heart broke all over again. “Is it true?” he asked.

  I looked away. “You need to be more specific.”

  “Did you kill Deorad?”

  My fingers gripped the arms of the chair. “That’s the first thing you have to say to me? You just want to know about Deorad?”

  “I only want to know if it’s true. Did you take away my revenge?”

  He hadn’t changed a bit. He was still obsessed.

  “I put Deorad out of his misery.”

  “He should have suffered at my hands.”

  “He suffered enough at the hands of his own father. He didn’t need his son to finish the job.”

  Colour had risen in his pale cheeks. “That wasn’t your choice to make!”

  “I had no other choice!” I glared at the man who had once sworn he would love me forever. “Sadler was using him to live. Killing Deorad weakened Sadler and gave me time to escape. In case you’ve forgotten, I was dead as soon as I gave birth, and I went into labour that night. I will never regret choosing my life over your revenge.” I rose to my feet. “And that anger eating you alive is exactly why I did the right thing.”

  He followed me as I made my way to the door, and just as I reached it, he grabbed my hand. “Wait!”

  “What?” I turned to face him. I felt tears threatening, and I tried not to blink. “What could you possibly have to say to me?”

  We gazed at each other, close enough to kiss and yet a million miles apart.

  “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I have no idea anymore.”

  I pulled my hand from his and reached for the door handle. “That tells me everything I need to know.”

  “And the child?”

  I hesitated. “She has your eyes.” I let myself out without looking back.

  ***

  I drew inward at the dinner table. Facing off with Drake was something I’d thought about for a year, but when he was right in front of me, I saw Scarlet, and I fell to pieces. With a different turn of events, the three of us could have been a real family. But I had come to realise that Drake would never be capable of sharing all of himself with someone like me. He had chosen power, and I had lost him before I ever truly had him.